Hopeless Inconsistencies (IBTR #39)

Sometimes when we institutionalize rules that are not actually mentioned in the Bible, nor can be honestly inferred from its pages, we can fall into the most hopeless inconsistencies. Likely many Christian groups have their own set, but as an Independent Baptist, I can share several that I have seen in that group. None on the list apply to all, and we would hope they were only on the fringe. Some will ridicule some things on this list and hold vehemently to others.

While I realize the list might make us laugh, and that is one of the ways error can be broken down, it could really be sad if you thought about it. By the way, I am NOT criticizing you holding a position on any of these issues, but that you and I DO be careful to be consistent if you are holding it strongly enough to make an issue out of it with others.

In any event, here goes:

1. It is wrong to watch a movie at the theater but the same movie can be watched on a disc from Redbox.
2. It is wrong to wear a fireman costume on Halloween and go trick-or-treating but it may be worn in the church basement if called a harvest party.
3. It is wrong to listen to Christian music containing drums but you may listen to other music with drums.
4. It is wrong to go into a restaurant that sells alcohol but you may go to a gas station that does.
5. It is wrong for a woman to wear pants unless she cuts them off at the knees, shows her calves, and calls them culottes.
6. It is wrong for a man to wear shorts at the mall, but he may wear them at church athletic events.
7. It is wrong for a woman to wear man’s apparel unless it is shirts, socks, jackets, etc.
8. It is wrong to listen to contemporary Christian music but you may listen to Southern gospel.
9. It is wrong to have a non-independent Baptist in your church to minister unless they are part of a really good singing group.
10. It is wrong to have a guest preacher that some have labeled “liberal” unless approved by your favorite leader.
11. It is wrong to have a divorced man teach in your church, but you may have a divorced woman come and teach on Bible versions.
12. It is wrong to…

Would you who have seen such things in our Independent Baptist world offer your choice for what should be number 12 in the comment section below? I am asking my readers to finish this article for me!
While we laugh, however, let’s ask the Lord to deliver us from hopeless inconsistencies!

Find all articles in the series here.

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My Rogaine Victory

I’m so excited! I finally was able to get my manhood back today! I started losing my hair in my 20s and now at 42 it is gone. As you can see in the above picture, I have been rescued by Rogaine.

It’s been so tough watching my hairline expand from normal to a ditch across the top of my head over these years. I’ve had to watch all these cocky men who have kept their hair. I could always see the gloating in their eyes as I just wasn’t the man they were. Well, those days are over! Thank you Rogaine!

It’s like going back in time too. O that feeling of running my fingers through my hair! I had forgotten what it felt like. I’ve watched others tuck their hair behind their ears and it is a skill I am learning from scratch. I’ll have to buy a comb and find room again in the pocket where I once carried one. There’s shampoo, the sticky feeling of hairspray, and even the heat of the hairdryer. Yes, I’ll have to get used to all that again. I’ll have to worry again about the wind and the rain, but it will be worth it.

There’s still some kinks to work out in this victory. I got on my knees in front on my sweetheart Alicia today. I could only imagine the rush she was getting seeing her husband with hair again as she ran her fingers through my hair.  I asked her, “Doesn’t this make you want to kiss me?” Strangely, she said “no.”

I’m sure it’s just a color/styling problem. Maybe I should go blond. I had an uncle  once (let me emphasize that it was an uncle by marriage) who got a sore on his head and treated it with peroxide. It turned his brown hair completely blond and I remember him saying that blondes have more fun.

Maybe some of you can make some suggestions for style and color now that I have hair. Once I get it right, I won’t be able to hold off Alicia’s kisses no matter what I do! I look men everywhere in the eye too. See why I’m celebrating this victory?

I hope you are having as fun a day as I am today!