Make sure you leave right. Ever heard that one before? It can be said to church members, and especially to departing staff members. I’ve had many a letter describe a sordid tale over simply leaving. In fact, a reader even asked me to tackle this topic.

This is an awkward subject in the sense of who wouldn’t want to follow “make sure you you leave right” as a principle? In leaving one could, of course, be unchristian and bring damage to the cause of Christ. We should recommend this as a course of action to each other in the instances of life where we must leave.

Just because it is a good thing to do, and a good step to recommend, does not mean it cannot be used in some bad cases of abuse. It most often rears its ugly head when a pastor abusing his role like an oily hireling uses it as manipulative–PR moves, scapegoating, character assassination, or ego enhancement.

Oftentimes the church member or staff member will strive to leave in the best possible terms. Some things that could be said are graciously left unsaid. Care is taken to get into no gossipy situations. And especially, must respect is afforded the pastor.

Then sadly, that respect is not returned. Accusations are made. The pastor acts like the ends justifies the means even if that means destroying someone to protect his ministry. Sad when we forget it is God’s ministry.

In some cases it is only an assistant being called out to other work. This should be a cause of rejoicing like a Timothy going out from Paul, but instead the pastor is only concerned with the immediate impact on him. He acts like his ministry is the height of God’s work instead of seeing that God’s work often thrives by others being sent out.

We need a call back to pastors as shepherds. We give our lives for the sheep, not destroy the sheep we were called to love and care for. May God help us.

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Have you ever had the charge that you have left doctrine? Of course, some have left doctrine to even take up with another gospel. In such a case, that is a fair assessment. But what about receiving that charge for something of lesser magnitude? Perhaps a temptation to all Christians, and certainly a common one in the Independent Baptist world, proclaiming one has left true doctrine simply simply because he or she disagreed with you is an all-too-common occurrence.

Some say that very thing when one takes a different opinion on dress standards, or music preferences, etc. That is a flawed, illogical charge because it assumes that all issues are equal. We break fellowship over changing the plan of salvation, but we also do over a change of standard. In both cases it is charged that there is a change of doctrine. There may be a change, but it is not necessarily one of doctrine.

Those who make the charge flirt with hypocrisy for the simple reason that neither they, nor anyone else, really believes that all issues are equal. I have seen cases where one breaks with someone because they changed a dress standard, but went and preached for a friend whose music is different and conveniently looked the other way. Or other cases where the music standard was held absolute, and they overlooked some other loudly-professed belief–like eating at a restaurant that serves alcohol. The examples are endless.

It is true that “doctrine” refers to “teachings”, or particularly, the content of teaching. Still, it does not follow that all are of the same magnitude. I know people have given their lives for the Gospel, but I can’t remember someone doing it over the issue of attending a movie theater or not. Again, no one really believes it is so.

If a person believed it were so they quite logically would be required to leave off every person who held a difference of opinion on any issue. That is to say, they must on EVERY issue. I have never yet seen any person, even the most militant, ever do that. Their actions, then, prove that they believe value judgments must be made.

Once your actions prove you believe value judgments can be made, then we must agree that our only real argument is what those value judgments are. Without some measure of charity, that argument becomes only that my value judgements are better than yours. The exceptions I make are acceptable, but yours are not.

Then, you could only say they left your opinion. You could not say they left doctrine. That is why sensible Christians have always realized those things that make up essential doctrine. Perhaps they called the fundamentals of the faith, or irreducible truths, but they were the things that held up Christianity. Without them there could be no Christianity as described in the Bible.

None of this is to say that I shouldn’t try to arrive at certain Biblical opinions, and when I to the best of my ability determine it, then I should live it as well. Still, I will not label differences on non-essentials as leaving doctrine. I will not be so sure of myself to dare do that!

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It is easy, so easy, to mix up the true goal of Christian discipleship. If the goal is missed, apparent success is worthless. I speak of Cookie Cutter Christians. Perhaps every group in Christianity struggles here, and Independent Baptists are, perhaps, masters of the art.

Perhaps you have taken part in a cookie making event. As a father of six, I have had at least a few Christmas opportunities (though I could in no way walk in the kitchen at this moment and make a batch of cookies). The first thing you will notice is how much they all look alike as you use you little cookie cutter.

Strangely, that is how some view disciplining new Christians. The great doctrines that define Christianity are mentioned to some degree, but no more than how we ought to look, exactly how a worship service should look, and what we are allowed to do or not do. Some of those discipled are shocked to learn later, if they actually become Bible students, that the emphasis does not match what the pages of Scripture show. If they never do, they will more likely become what their trainers hope they will.

It is not if they have a theological grasp on salvation by grace, but that they commit to memory all standards and never slip on any of them. It is not if they have the big picture comprehended, but if they have the rules down. If you doubt this to be the case, just let the Christian in question miss the doctrinal point (real doctrine) or miss the standard. Watch what happens, and you will see for yourself.

The other thing about making cookies is that if I remove the cookie cutter and some part of the little snowman falls off, I grab it and roll it back into the batter. That cookie doesn’t make it.

So it is for some new Christians. They get a little time to conform, but then they better get with the program; or else. I have seen more than one broke little Christian thrown back into the batter.

Perhaps if we saw the goal as Christians being conformed into the image of Christ, we would not be so concerned if they were not conformed into the image of us!

Sometimes the most trumpeted spiritual gifts are the ones that are not spiritual at all. One example is the snooping around done that leads to griping. We sit there griping about someone as if the words out of our mouths were new nuggets in our accumulating treasure in Heaven.

We read articles to see who has messed up. We ask around for the juiciest gossip of who has fallen just so we can wax eloquent on how upset we are about it. Strangely, it is not common to be really upset about what you go seeking to find. Usually, that is a source of joy. Could that be the case here? You can answer for you, but I must ask: O Lord, help me.

Sometimes we are looking for lesser things than someone falling. We scan Facebook newsfeeds with squinting eyes asking our spouse: does she have on pants? We have an in-depth conversation at church about whether so-and-so went to the movies. And on and on.

If that wasn’t bizarre enough behavior, we then talk about that person as if he or she has apostatized. We say, “Isn’t that so sad?” Now the emotion shown looks like something other than sadness. Gloating is, perhaps, a little more accurate. Then we gripe and gripe: “What is this world coming to?” “Isn’t there anyone left who loves and follows The Lord?”

There are people, I believe, who never have a week go by without engaging in this aberrant behavior. It is done with the pretense of spirituality, but how does The Lord view it?

On several occasions such people showed up to check on Jesus. Can you believe He eats with sinners? He ignores the Sabbath–He doesn’t love God. They would come finding what they were looking for and just gripe incessantly. What does Jesus think of that attitude?

Well, once John the Baptist answered the question. Matthew 3:7 says:
But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come?

Read on–his words only got stronger!

It might be time to put this supposed spiritual gift on the shelf where it belongs much as you would poison when making a nutritious dish. We need no such spiritual griping.

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They were an ugly group. They fought Jesus at every turn. Their hearts had run so amok that Christ reserved the harshest words He ever spoke for them. Strangely enough, they thought they followed God better than anyone ever did. The irony that they thought God’s Own Son was a devil jumps off page after page of the Gospel records. As you might imagine, to be called a Pharisee for anyone who thinks themselves a solid Christian will arouse a blood-boiling reaction. Though this pharisaical attitude rears its hideous head in all corners of Christianity, and although I know there is a little Pharisee in both you and me, I call on those in the Independent Baptist world to give careful thought to just how much the spirit of Pharisaism is entrenched in some places.

Don’t make the error of thinking that Pharisees sprang from evil and only ever had bad motives. Just because Jesus called them hypocrites, don’t assume there was never any sincerity. After the Captivity and its corresponding trials rendered its chastening to the point that it became difficult to reboot and sustain their OT worship, it appeared to some well-meaning believers that something ought to be done. In that idolatry was at the core of the offense that brought on the agonizing judgments, it seemed, quite reasonably, that steps ought to be taken that it never happen again. From those ashes rose a patriotic, zealous group of sincere men who made their lives about restoring what they thought they lost from God.

So it wasn’t the original aims or goals that were a problem. No, these “separated ones” likely were as sincere as any believers have ever been. I have no reason whatsoever to believe that they did what they did for any other motivation than love of God. Still, I must know well the one I love for my love to accomplish an end worthy of love.

With a zeal that puts our halfhearted efforts to shame they went relentlessly after their goals. As time went along, it occurred to them that fences were the only safety net to avoid another round of horrors as they had experienced in the bondage of oppression. So they took the things God had said and added many regulations to it to ensure that they did not stumble across the line God had drawn. They saw breaking God’s Law as the cliff and so they built fences father and farther back until they were hundreds of feet away. By Christ’s day they were so far back that they could not even see the cliff. And they felt really good about it.

What never occurred to them was that in backing away from the cliff they had somehow backed far away from God Himself. They were too far away to hear His voice, but in the cacophony of their own voices they did not even notice. Hearing your own voice standing in the place of the Lord’s, however, will do a number on you, especially if you have convinced yourself that you did it for Him!

Plus when you only know someone from a distance you tend to get a warped view of who they really are. They knew about the fear of the Lord. They did not just know it, they lived it. That the fear of the Lord might be more appropriate when we are purposely running from Him, not when we are treading watchfully, never crossed their minds. That the fear of the Lord when we are in an appropriate relationship with Him might have more to do with reverential awe never occurred to them either. Had they taken the time to actually listen to Jesus they might have learned what intimate fellowship our Lord has in mind for us.

Is it clear to you now what was the great motivation to be a Pharisee? Fear. It was then and it is now. Never mind that Jesus told us that He had not given us the spirit of fear; some still design their entire Christian experience on it. Sadly, it will make a Pharisee of you every time. Fear is the basis of idolatrous religions and has no place in Christianity. Our God in not a pagan god to be feared and appeased, but a real God to be known and loved. In that light you can see that a Pharisee is the last thing you would ever want to be.

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It dawned on me that we sometimes have some serious urban legends in Christianity. My familiarity with Independent Baptist has made me aware of several in our ranks. When I looked the definition up to make sure my terminology was accurate, I laughed. Wikipedia defines urban legends as “a form of modern folklore consisting of stories that may or may not have been believed by their tellers to be true, and often possess horror implications that are believable to their audience.” The story is often “the Bible teaches …”, when of course it does not!

My thinking went this direction from a letter a fine Christian lady wrote me. She had been lambasted for an opinion that she could not believe that 1 Corinthians 7:1 (“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”) meant that a male could not hug a female who was merely a friend goodby.

This lady, obviously one who has become a Bible student, said that verse meant ” ‘to touch a woman’ is a euphemism for sexual intercourse”. It is very good to not fornicate, the verse is saying. Her exegesis was quite good as she shared her conclusions about the first seven verses.

The strange thing was how it came to mean that touching the opposite sex would always lead to instant fornication. That urban legend is so strongly believed by some and thundered out as if disaster was certain. Of course there is a touching that could lead to danger, but that does not mean every innocent touch is the same thing.

Urban legends can be easily fixed. Just check out the facts. It is amazing how simple it is.

In Bible matters, just check out what the Bible really says. Look at the appropriate passages in context and define the words carefully. Bible urban legends die a quick death in the hands of one careful with his or her Bible.

You feel pretty silly for believing an urban legend after you find out what it really was. For sure, don’t let that happen in God’s Word.

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